just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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