cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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