I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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