I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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