My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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