All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
