i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize