hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
