Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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