so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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