i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
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