So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
