i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
