What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
