She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
