id be glad to
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
