i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
