Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
