That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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