standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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