Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
