I'm gonna have a badass scar
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
