can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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