i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
