Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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