Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
