my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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