hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
