Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
