I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize