can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
