Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
