I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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