I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
