You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
