He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
