he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize