So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
