And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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