his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
