Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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