Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
