Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
