I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
