This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
