Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
