She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
