he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
