Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
