Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
