Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
