the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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