two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
