he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
