oh my god i'm in a crawl space
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
