OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
This house was built for laser tag.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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