So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
