Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
