he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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