Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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