The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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