This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
