They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Randomize