Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
