Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
