Me too!
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
