I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
