I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize