What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
