I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
