i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
